The Bar Method or Get Me to the Bar.
Radiation Level: En Relevé
Listening to: Crazy Train by Black Sabbath
There’s good pain. And there’s bad pain. I’m trying to figure out which kind I’m in. RosieGirl and I decided to try a new form of exercise called the Bar Method. I heard about it after seeing Kelly Osbourne on Dr. Phil.
Both Kelly and FalloutGirl loathe exercise in general, but Osbourne swears by the Bar Method and takes a 60-minute class three days a week. “Not every day…I don’t have that kind of dedication! Working out sucks. It’s miserable. You sweat and you stink, but then you’re done — and you see that just taking an hour three times a week can change you so much. It becomes addictive.”
What do we do during the Bar Method? Well, I called to ask the receptionist this very question. She said it has elements of Pilates, you use isolated movements and the bar is just there for balance – no dance routines. (I was actually a little sad there were no dance routines. I really miss my old Step class) So, still clueless, I went to try it.
Wow. It’s a serious workout. I thought I was tough after doing Spin at YAS, but this takes tough to a whole new level. I was instructed to get a set of 2lbs and 3lbs weights. Thinking I wanted more of a challenge, I decided to only use the 3 pounders. MISTAKE. We did numerous curls and worked our triceps at a rapid pace with probably 50+ repetitions of each movement. But it’s only three pounds, right? The next day my left shoulder hurt so bad, I had to take Aleve just so I could use my mouse. Then I had to switch my mouse back to my right hand. Ah…
After the dumbbells, we went to the ballet bar and put a ball between our legs. RosieGirl laughed every time the teacher said “Squeeze your balls!” Her laughing made me laugh too. Then we do these psycho squats where you’re up on your toes, your derriere is tucked under and oh, how the upper half of my hamstrings hurt the next day.
Then you get a blue foam mat and put 2/3’s of it on the floor and 1/3 against the wall. Then you sit on it and do crazy, painful leg lift type things. At one point, I started to panic, wondering if I had any muscles at all, as none seemed to be working.
Then there’s abs. You lay on the mat and so these Pilates-style crunches. I have a sway-back (I know this sounds like an excuse) and never liked this type of ab-work because it hurts my lower back. I will need to put some foam or something behind me.
That’s the gist of the Bar Method. Of course I’m leaving out lots of other tortuous exercises, but those are the main injurers. It lasts an entire hour. Not 50 minutes. Not 55. 60 solid minutes and then you stretch.
I have been to two classes so far and was entirely more frightened of the second class than I was the first. But I signed up for a month, so I better use the classes. Anna Paquin was in my first class and if she can do it, damn it, so can I. Of course she’s much younger, prettier, thinner and more toned than I am. But this is what I tell myself. I’m trying to work up the courage to go back on Sunday…Why does everything at Chipotle have to be so good?