Radiation Level: 100 decibles
Listening To: Pop Art Blue by Zero 7
I’ve been blogging a lot lately about my exercise quest and the hope of losing 10 pounds. And I’m *trying* to get into and dare I say *enjoy* the Bar Method class. I purchased a month’s worth of classes, so I’d better use them. But I’m still not liking it. Everyone I know who’s been doing Bar Method for a while swears by it. They LOVE it. Why don’t I love it, too?
Then I had a realization during the class on Tuesday night. As I was in relevé with a rubber ball between my thighs tucking and pliéing, the ceasless chatter, chatter, chatter of the teacher instructing each and every micro-movement made me feel like my head was going to explode.
SHUT UP, YOU DAMN HARPY! I wanted to scream.
Since I couldn’t turn her off, I decided to do my best to tune out her shrill voice. I did a pretty good job of not listening. But I did watch her, in order to follow her movements. I literally mirrored her, so if she raised her right arm, I would raise my left (because I wasn’t listening to her say right arm, I was just doing what I saw). I thought this was going pretty well until I heard some words I couldn’t tune out: FalloutGirl! I said right arm. We should all be using the same arm!
Really? Why? I switched arms for fear of being loudly chastised again. This threw off my whole set of reps, leaving my arms lopsided. And it made it harder for me to tune out that screech of a voice. I don’t know how she can talk for a whole hour straight and not need water. I just don’t think all that talking is necessary. We’re not morons, we can figure out how to let go of our leg without being told to “walk your right then left hand up your thigh, place both hands on your hips, blah, blah blah”. What’s up with this over-instruction? Is it meant to make it easier? I prefer to simply watch a movement then follow along. Ugh.
I’m thinking of wearing my iPod tomorrow.
This was then followed by a trip to Target. Here’s an idea Target: hand out red ear plugs with the red shopping carts. What is it about Target that makes children SCREAM BLOODY MURDER? And what is it about parents who think this is acceptable? Are they so used to the howling that they tune it out? I seriously thought a child in the shoe section had each limb tied to four shopping carts and was being quartered.
I’m thinking of wearing my iPod every time I leave the house.
This was followed by going home and having all the windows of my house loudly vibrating as the college kids with what must be elephant-sized subwoofers wait at the stoplight in front of my house. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM.
I’m thinking of having my iPod ear buds permanently implanted into my ear canals.