Drano For The Soul
Radiation Level: Bubblegum
Listening To: Toxic by Brittney Spears
Can pop stars ever capture our sympathy? I mean, after we spend our money on their CD’s and concert tickets and then they drive drunk, don’t show up to court, drink while wearing an alcohol monitoring bracelet and then refuse to take responsibility for their actions? Of course the madamoiselle du jour is Lindsay Lohan, but she’s just one of many.
I’m researching this stuff to see if I can make a screenplay out of it. I read Belinda Carlisle’s autobiography Lips Unsealed and didn’t have much compassion. Am I that cold and souless? I LOVED the GoGo’s – Beauty and the Beat was one of the first record albums I ever bought. My girlfriends and I lip synched for summers to their brilliant punk-pop songs.
Belinda, beautiful and bright, basically spent 30 years of her life snorting coke, getting drunk and shoving opium up her rectum. And it made me angry. Addiction is horrendous, no one has to tell me that. I’ve lost a sister to it and don’t take the monster lightly – I know its toll on a family. But why do I only feel anger at Belinda? She was talented, gorgeous, famous, rich, admired, successful and loved. Maybe that’s why? Because she had everything and pissed it all away?
She is now clean and sober – thank god, and I wish her nothing but freedom from the horrible shackles that are addiction. I guess I feel that she was handed a golden lotus flower and she stomped on it and snorted it. Maybe it’s my own frustration, not feeling successful in my career, or maybe it’s unresolved anger at my sister for checking out and leaving me with the mess. Or, maybe because when I was an actress, rehearsal was sacred. I never showed up drunk or high. I felt inordinately lucky to be able to perform anything. But we all have different coping mechanisms or lack thereof. We all survive (or don’t) to the best of our ability.
I still get teary-eyed over River Phoenix.
What does this have to do with my script? Well, that’s what I’m trying to figure out. There’s a blockage there and I’m trying to bust through it. If only they made Drano for the soul…