Radiation Level: 500 CO2 G/km
Listening To: Cars by Gary Numan
It’s coming. 4 days. Thousands of lives. Tens of thousands of cars. The 405 is CLOSING.
They say only for a weekend. I say it’s going to take a lot longer than the 51 hours they are suggesting. But fear not. In fact, let us CELEBRATE!
When I was an undergrad at UCLA, I lived in Van Nuys. (Not Valley Village or Lake Balboa as they call it today – Van F*cking Nuys) I had to make the trip over the hill everyday. I didn’t have air conditioning in my car. It was HELL. I used to see a car on the freeway with a license plate that read HATE405. Agreed. I don’t see that car anymore. I wonder if he’s moved away. If not, HATE405 – you are the first to be invited to my Carmageddon party. And it’s going to be one bad-ass bash!
First of all, everyone will be drunk because there will be NO driving. Second, everyone will probably be puking from all the drinking, but BEFORE that, I’ve come up with an awesome new dance that’s going to sweep the clubs. It’s called the Mazdarena. Come early and I’ll teach it to you. Third – cash prizes for the best car costumes. What’s not to love about closing the 405?