I Auditioned for a Reality Show
Radiation Level: The power plant is shutting down
Listening to: White Wedding by Billy Idol perf. by Bootsie
WARNING: Do Not Try This at Home!
Yes, I did audition for a reality show. Not totally willingly, however. Here’s what happened: I was contacted last week by a production company regarding an event in which I took part in the 1980’s. (I’m purposefully being vague because I’m not allowed to reveal the specific info) Let’s just say I was a tween before the word tween was box office gold, and the event had to do with a bunch of girls being as absolutely annoying as possible.
The event was televised and I received 15 seconds of fame. Puny fame, really just small clams. But for a 12-year-old starting a new Jr. High, it was absolutely toxic. Not intoxicating – toxic, as in deadly. I was on the cover of the local paper and the public school kids didn’t like it one bit. I was threatened, made fun of, cursed at, rumors were spread and I was even beat up. This was the students’ way of saying, “Welcome to your teens, FalloutGirl – f*ck you!” This was the original event that made me FalloutGirl and the subject of my screenplay of the same name. Needless to say, when I heard someone was developing a reality show about this topic, I was gobsmacked and dubious. But these producers really wanted to meet me, and I am an expert, and it was a very long time ago, sooooo…
To be clear, I’m not a person who desires to be on a reality show. I did submit a script several years ago to a reality show that was about developing a sitcom, but that’s about the extent of my desire – to get my scripts produced. So, given that I have a screenplay on the topic about which they were developing the show, I was curious. Is there an opportunity here for me? Perhaps. I decided it was worth taking the meeting to find out.
I was interviewed on camera. Asked questions about my youth. Even asked my age!! (BTW – that’s illegal!) Then I was asked to engage in the annoying banter. I explained that this was something I did when I was 12. Not anymore. I agreed to speak about the past but only if it was clear it was my past not my present. The young producer laughed hysterically as the goofy phrases rolled out of my mouth. Was it really that funny?
I think the 80’s are curious to young people. They love the New Wave music, John Hughes movies and even wear some of the odd styles. The Cold War is romanticized by kids as young as 5th grade. Why? Maybe because it was a simpler time. Less technology (I remember getting my first answering machine), clear enemies (those mean Russians) and the prosperous Reagan era.
So is this why the young producer is attracted to this project? I guess we’ll see. It’s odd to me that I would be considered an ambassador of the 80’s, but perhaps that’s what I am by default, having lived through it, participated so wholly in it and where I was totally famous for a micro-minute. Like, fer sure!