Psychotic Stabbing Nerds?
Radiation Level: Forensic
Listening to: Sweet Sour by Band of Skulls
New Movie Reviews: The Lucky One Chimpanzee Darling Companion
Here’s a little CSI-type film I made with my students. Hope you like!
I Auditioned for a Reality Show
Radiation Level: The power plant is shutting down
Listening to: White Wedding by Billy Idol perf. by Bootsie
New Movie Reviews: The Three Stooges The Cabin in the Woods Lockout
WARNING: Do Not Try This at Home!
Did you have a "pattern"? FalloutGirl sure did!
Yes, I did audition for a reality show. Not totally willingly, however. Here’s what happened: I was contacted last week by a production company regarding an event in which I took part in the 1980’s. (I’m purposefully being vague because I’m not allowed to reveal the specific info) Let’s just say I was a tween before the word tween was box office gold, and the event had to do with a bunch of girls being as absolutely annoying as possible.
The event was televised and I received 15 seconds of fame. Puny fame, really just small clams. But for a 12-year-old starting a new Jr. High, it was absolutely toxic. Not intoxicating – toxic, as in deadly. I was on the cover of the local paper and the public school kids didn’t like it one bit. I was threatened, made fun of, cursed at, rumors were spread and I was even beat up. This was the students’ way of saying, “Welcome to your teens, FalloutGirl – f*ck you!” This was the original event that made me FalloutGirl and the subject of my screenplay of the same name. Needless to say, when I heard someone was developing a reality show about this topic, I was gobsmacked and dubious. But these producers really wanted to meet me, and I am an expert, and it was a very long time ago, sooooo…
To be clear, I’m not a person who desires to be on a reality show. I did submit a script several years ago to a reality show that was about developing a sitcom, but that’s about the extent of my desire – to get my scripts produced. So, given that I have a screenplay on the topic about which they were developing the show, I was curious. Is there an opportunity here for me? Perhaps. I decided it was worth taking the meeting to find out.
I was interviewed on camera. Asked questions about my youth. Even asked my age!! (BTW – that’s illegal!) Then I was asked to engage in the annoying banter. I explained that this was something I did when I was 12. Not anymore. I agreed to speak about the past but only if it was clear it was my past not my present. The young producer laughed hysterically as the goofy phrases rolled out of my mouth. Was it really that funny?
I think the 80’s are curious to young people. They love the New Wave music, John Hughes movies and even wear some of the odd styles. The Cold War is romanticized by kids as young as 5th grade. Why? Maybe because it was a simpler time. Less technology (I remember getting my first answering machine), clear enemies (those mean Russians) and the prosperous Reagan era.
So is this why the young producer is attracted to this project? I guess we’ll see. It’s odd to me that I would be considered an ambassador of the 80’s, but perhaps that’s what I am by default, having lived through it, participated so wholly in it and where I was totally famous for a micro-minute. Like, fer sure!
Come on, FalloutGirl, we can be BFF's!
Birthday from Beyond!
Radiation Level: Springing Up
Listening To: Jane Says by Jane’s Addiction
New Movie Reviews: Titanic 3D American Reunion Damsels in Distress
Happy Birthday, CookieSister!
I woke up so excited today because I knew Richard Simmons was teaching his aerobics class! He’s been in Canada the last couple Saturdays and I was sick before that, so I think it’s been over a month since I’ve been. Who knew what a fabulous day it would turn out to be?
Today is April 7th, CookieSister’s birthday. She would have been 35! I would love to have known her in her 30’s. This day is always happy and sad in a way that no other day is.
Well, occasionally Richard likes to raffle off some Barbie dolls. Not just any Barbies, but fun, themed, vintage ones. Today it was The Spring Bouquet Barbie – perfect for Easter! Over a hundred of us put our names on little white pieces of paper and threw them into a bowl. At the end of class, he picked the winner. Richard actually asked one of the students to reach in and pull out a name. I had this strange, dream-like premonition where I heard my name in my head. After that, Richard spelled out FalloutGirl and I realized I had won the Barbie!
I can’t say that my sister was into Barbies or that we had some Barbie connection, but to win a little girl’s gift on her birthday makes me think that it was really a gift for her. Or some kind of nod or wink from her from the great hereafter, whatever that may be.
I love you, kid!
Yin and Yang of Simian Life
Radiation Level: Causing pain in my lower back
Listening To: Broken in all the Right Places by I Am Jen
New Movie Reviews: Bully Wrath of the Titans Intruders Mirror Mirror
Spring break is upon us and I can sure use some time away from children. There is something about teaching that’s a lot like performing. You have to be 100% present every moment. No daydreams. No checking Facebook. No glass of wine at lunch. I’m equipped to be fully present, acting on stage does that to you, but it sure does make Angry Birds Space sound appealing. Children demand your attention, every ounce, every moment. And they should. They are vulnerable and it takes a village to rear them.
This week I had to review the documentary Bully. It was a hard watch. Given a choice, I wouldn’t have seen it due to its depressing nature, but I didn’t have a choice. One of the reasons it was hard to view for me is because I teach in the public school system. I see bullying constantly. Not to the extreme as shown in the film, but it is part of children’s nature. It is human nature to want to fit into the tribe and to shun those who are different. Of course, now that we no longer live on the savanna in Africa, we don’t need to be quite so discriminatory, if at all.
Once, I had one girl in a class strike a boy with a closed fist right in front of me. Alarmed, I jumped up, firmly saying I do not tolerate violence in my class.
The girl said, “It’s okay. He’s my brother.”
I looked at the boy and said, you just let her hit you like that? He replied, “Yeah.”
This violent dynamic between them had become de rigueur. I looked straight into his eyes and told him that there’s no way I’d let my sister hit me. My point is that violence can easily become normalized if you let it.
Some of the school administrators in the movie Bully seem to have reached this unfortunate new-normal. That or they really hate some of these kids. There’s a scene where 12-year-old Alex and his parents are speaking to a school administrator about the bullying that is happening to Alex on the school bus. The school’s solution? Put Alex on a different bus. It was shocking that they chose not to address the bully himself. Instead, he’s left to find a new victim and what’s even sadder, clearly bullies are created, so no one is even concerned about what’s going on at this kid’s house that’s causing him to act out.
On the other end of the spectrum, I saw another documentary about chimpanzees. (FalloutGirl hearts animal docs!) When a baby chimp is orphaned, it becomes clear he won’t survive without a miracle. All the other chimp mothers shun him — this is normal behavior due to the fact that they have to make their own child top priority to ensure their offspring’s survival. But then the troop’s Alpha Male, YES THE ALPHA MALE, takes the little guy under his wing. He provides food. He grooms him. He even lets the tiny ape ride on his back and curl up next to him when sleeping. The meanest, baddest chimp around basically adopts him. It is stunning to see and baffling to try to comprehend the Alpha’s motivation. Does he know that it’s better for the troop to ensure the survival of this male chimp? Or does he feel sorry for him? Or does he think investing in this relationship will cause the young chimp to protect the Alpha as he gets old an loses Alpha status? I don’t think even Jane Goodall knows, but it inspires faith in humanity, knowing that from such primal roots grew our own ability to (mostly) transcend animal instincts and put the benefit of others before our own.
Anyway, the yin and yang of simian life makes for fun blogging. Violence and sacrifice are alive and well in all primates, including the human ones.
Worm Farms, Chimps and Greenday
Radiation Level: Deep Seeded
Listening To: Black Coffee in Bed by Squeeze
New Movie Reviews: Hunger Games
This week has been something strange. I find myself constantly doing things I never imagined I would be doing. I guess this is exciting, however I’m not doing many of the things I really want to be doing. I have three new screenplay ideas and one takes place in the 19th century…OH YEAH!
Monday: I made a worm farm with kids. Yes, a farm of earthworms. At 8am, I took a large styrofoam container out of a science lab fridge and opened it to find it packed with squirmy, blood red worms. The sight was pretty gross. But I soon came to terms with these earth-makers and, after letting the kids harass them for a while, we made a farm with broccoli and newspaper.
Because I believe in the power of stories, myths and legends, I insisted on naming the farm. Most kids suggested calling it “The Worm Farm.” One particularly rowdy kid suggested “The Cowboy Worm Farm” and I thought that was perfect. What stories may grow from this fabled farm of Cowboy worms? I told the kids to think about the worms as they lie in bed and fall asleep.
Or, The Cowboy Worm From? Love it.
After teaching, I went to see The Hunger Games. I hadn’t read the books, but I was excited to see it. Jennifer Lawrence was amazing in Winter’s Bone and it was as if her character Ree was magically transported into the dystopian world of Panem. Though the film was no Sparticus, it was pretty darn good. And, oh, those eyelashes! FalloutGirl has a new obsession. Anyone know where I can get the ones Katniss wore?
Tuesday: I programmed a Lego robot to walk. Yes, using a computer. Now, having said that, I’m not exactly confident I can actually teach someone else to do it. I’m really, really hoping the kids already know how to do this kind of thing.
I then taught a class on Leonardo Da Vinci’s Golden Horn Bridge. I must have a Zome tool in the pocket of every pair of pants I own.
Wednesday: I taught neuroscience at 8am. My own neural pathways don’t fully function so early in the morning, so it was an interesting class. I then dressed up as Ada Lovelace for an educational event. So. Loving. The. DRESS!
Then I taught a class on math in music. Ugh. These are gifted kids and almost all of them play an instrument and are experts in music theory. Filling up bottles with water and blowing on them (GERMS!!) didn’t go over so well, especially when they decided to start spilling the water on each other. Luckily, one tiny little pipsqueak of a girl said she could play the piano that was in the room. I took off the front panel of the ancient upright, so they could see the guts (I remember being fascinated by this as a child) and let her play. Mozart, no less! She was concert quality! Thank you, dear. You saved my class…
Thursday: Taught 5 garden science classes in a row. This kids are great, they have tons of energy and will literally eat ANYTHING you put in front of them. I can’t tell if they are underfed or just growing and hungry to feed their cells as they expand. I did a lesson on seaweed and then we made veggie sushi rolls. They devoured them. One kid even drank two containers of soy sauce. They wanted more. They want to make sushi again next week. I was shocked. I didn’t try sushi until I was 25 and had to learn to like it. Go figure.
I then met up with RosieGirl and AmishGirl for Pinot Noir and pizza. There’s nothing like having great friends.
Friday: I’m going to see a screening of Chimpanzee, and after that, I’m going to see American Idiot with LutheranGirl. Looking forward to both!
Saturday: CPR training and certification.
Sunday: Write Bar Mitzvah screenplay.
Yeah, that’s a strange week. Even for me…
Clear Objective
Radiation Level: Binary Electrograms from San Onofre
Listening To: Blue Jeans by Lana Del Rey
Movie Reviews: Casa De Mi Padre, 21 Jump Street, Jeff Who Lives at Home
I’ve been doing a lot of head-scratching at movie screenings lately. Not because the movies are bad or confusing, but more because the hero or heroine doesn’t have a goal. In film school, they always ask, “what is the protagonist’s objective?” or, “What does s/he want?” Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz wants to go home. Simple. Without this “want” she would be a mere passive tourist in Oz. The ruby slippers would still be lovely, but without the tie to Dorothy obtaining her goal, they wouldn’t be iconic. Clicking your heels three times would not resonate on such a deep level.
All this may sound obvious, but I’ve seen two movies recently where the protagonists did not have a goal. Nothing. One of these movies is based on a fairy tale and had a very large budget – what could be the excuse? I’ll admit that the objective of most “Princesses” tend to be shallow, but still they exist. Cinderella wants to marry the prince. Little Red Riding Hood wants to get to her grandmother’s house. (Not terribly complex, but still, they have something they want to accomplish.) Snow White wants to..? What? Hello? Is there NOTHING Snow White wants? Is she not interested in finding out what happened to her father? Or why her stepmother is such a bitch? Or marrying a prince? I find this lack of desire quite shocking. Without it, the main character cannot “arc” as they say. They do not grow or change. They stay the same. Ugh.
I want these trees to stop ripping my dress!
As I struggle with this, I wonder if maybe I have it backwards. Maybe the Evil Queen is the protagonist and Snow White the true villain? It seems the Queen has a lot more at stake – being the “fairest one of all” is a big responsibility. Maybe Snow wants to ruin the Queen’s life. Probably not, but this would have made for a much more interesting story. At least the costumes were good.
A swan dress even Bjork would be proud of!
The Long Week
Radiation Level: Solar Storm
Listening To: Both Sides Now by Joni Mitchell
FalloutGirl’s Movie Reviews:
John Carter Friends with Kids Salmon Fishing in the Yemen
Last weekend I had a scratchy throat. But it seemed like it was on its way out. I went to Richard Simmons on Saturday and worked out extra hard for some reason. I was exhausted after and the sore throat got worse. I rested on Sunday, I don’t even think I left the house. Then Sunday night BurbankGirl asked if I wanted to help her strike props from the set of the Bachelor. The pay was good and I had the daytime free. So I said yes. THEN she said I had to be there at 6am.
I tried to cancel, see if she could get anyone else, but there was no one. It’s not that I can’t get up at 5am, it’s just I knew my sore throat may not go away. I was right.
Monday: Striking props from the Bachelor: I was tired, but it wasn’t that bad. I did a Starbucks run. I did an In N Out run. I worked from 6am to 2:30pm. I came home, thought about sleeping but I had a meeting at 6pm for my upcoming math and technology family night. I went. Feeling tired and my voice was getting scratchy.
Tuesday: Taught Zome class. I tried not to speak over my students, but they get so darn excited. We made the Great Wall of China, after all. My voice was barely in tact at the end of the class. I was happy to sit silently through two screenings – Intruders with Clive Owen and John Carter in 3D. Voice completely gone.
Wednesday: Was supposed to start Weight Watchers and go to a meeting with DanishGirl, but being mute seemed to make it moot. I postponed it. I had to teach my last historical mockumentary class. I emailed the other teacher to said I would not be able to speak. He said fine. I actually used the speech tool on my Final Draft software when I needed to say something. The kids got a kick out of it. Then, Family Night as Ada Lovelace. Would I have a voice? I’ve heard of singers getting cortisone injected into their larynx when they lose their voice. That seemed a bit extreme. So instead I decided I would take an anti-inflammitory and gargle with olive oil to lubricate my vocal chords. It worked – at first. My monologue as Ada Lovelace went swimmingly, including my hair piece falling out (big laugh) and then I stuffed it into my shirt (bigger laugh). But as soon as I started teaching, the coughing started. And wouldn’t stop. My lesson was on binary code which I never had a solid grasp on in the first place, then trying to teach it using as few words as possible? Let’s just say there were plenty of confused kids and parents. Did I mention I had THREE classes in a row?
Thursday: I spent the morning finishing up my movie reviews, trying to conjure up cheeky titles. Did I succeed? Judge for yourself by clicking on the links. Then I taught science – 5 classes in 3 hours – no way to keep my voice in tact. Then a screening of Mirror Mirror. Then I had to prep my M.C. Escher costume – but where the f*ck is it? I looked EVERYWHERE, texted my bosses. Couldn’t find it…
Friday: Found costume in the garage (whew!). I played M.C. Escher from 8am to 2:30pm. Teaching all day. Voice rough and raw. So tired. Feet hurt.
And that was my week. I’m hoping to go to Richard Simmons tomorrow, but I probably should take it easy. then I’m supposed to have a bar mitzvah video meeting at 3pm…
Work is good. I like to be busy. I’m exhausted. (wine)
Now That’s an Ada Lovelace Dress!
Radiation Level: En Vogue
Listening To: Jar of hearts by Christina Perri
I love this dress. So would Ada. I can’t wait to explore her further…Ada UNLEASHED!
Holy Oscar!
Radiation Level: Blood Red Carpet
Listening To: Immigrant Song from Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
Yes, the big night is TONIGHT! Can’t say this year is the most exciting award event, only because the films weren’t amazing, but I’m still looking forward to it. Here’s FalloutGirl’s predictions in black (and hopes in orange!)
Best Picture: The Artist Girl with the Dragon Tattoo*
*Okay, I know it’s not nominated, but SERIOUSLY, this was the best film of the year. HANDS DOWN!
Best Actor: Brad Pitt (Money Ball) Brad Pitt*
*He’s the only one I like.
Best Actress: Glenn Close (Albert Nobbs) Rooney Mara*
I’m riding the GWTDT train all the way.
Best Supporting Actor: Christopher Plummer Max Von Sydow (Extremely Loud & Increadibly Close)*
*The move was dreadful – DON’T SEE IT – but Von Sydow was a ray of light.
Best Supporting Actress: Melissa McCarthy (Bridesmaids)
Best Director: Martin Scorsese (Hugo)
Original Screenplay: Annie Mumolo and Kristen Wiig (Bridesmaids)*
*Gotta give it to the girls – they earned it!
Best Adapted Screenplay: Steven Zaillian and Aaron Sorkin: story by Stan Chervin (Moneyball) John Logan (Hugo)*
*The Descendants can eat sh*t.
Best Documentary Short: The Tsunami and the Cheery Blossom*
It’s Lucy Walker‘s night, all the way.
Film Editing: Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
So those are the films I’m shouting out. Please let me know if you agree! Also, you can follow the fabulous RioGirl as she tweets live from BACKSTAGE at the Oscars tonight…
Fallout Girl's Blog 